Gossip, rumor-mongering, and catty behavior know no gender
I chose a career in finance for a number of reasons. I liked the classes
in college, I wanted a challenging career, I wanted to make money.
However, more than anything, I was interested in pursuing a career that
was not filled with women. This fact is surprising to many; however,
those that know me know that after growing up with five sisters and
attending an all-female Catholic high school, I was ready to leave the
drama of cattiness, gossip, hormones and cliques behind. Before I
started working, I glorified the world of finance as being removed from
drama. After all, I argued to myself that the lack of estrogen was bound
to make for a smoother work environment.
It took about two weeks on the trading floor of a large investment bank
for me to come to the realization that men gossip as much as any woman I
know.
Typically after a big deal closed, many would leave the office early to
celebrate over a few beers, and since I wanted to bond with my new
co-workers, I joined them for a few that led to many. The evening took a
turn for the bizarre when the group ended up at a strip club, and I had
no ride home. Thankfully, one of the guys from the floor offered to
drive me. Unfortunately, when he drove me home, he offered other things,
but took my rejection like a gentleman.
As I crawled into bed in the wee hours of the morning, I said a prayer
of thanks that I worked with men and would not be judged the next day in
the office. A few minutes after I took my seat on the floor, a teammate
asked me to step off the desk for a conversation, and he shared with me
the word that had spread around the floor about the evening before. I
stared at this friend in shock that word had traveled that fast--in a
matter of minutes, since most people arrived at 6:00, and it was now
6:30 in the morning.
Fortunately for me, my evening chauffeur did not make up stories and
told the truth--in fact, he shared the full story, including my
rejection of him. From that moment on, I began to view my male
co-workers in a completely different light. For the better part of my
life, I had always assumed that women were gossipers and that men could
not be bothered with sharing stories. However, I realized quickly that
men are just as bad--if not worse--than women when it comes to the
gossip department.
I would love to say that I learned my lesson about partying with
co-workers after that first incident. However, there were numerous other
times that I walked into work the next morning to a buzz about the
happenings of the night before. Finally, after a male co-worker shared
some intimate knowledge of a female teammate, I realized that I needed
to find more friends outside of work.
Women typically gossip in small groups of one or two close friends, and
usually stick with one person or one topic of conversation. From my
experience, men seem to gossip in large groups, around broad subject
matter. I have sat on a trading desk and heard men gossip about
everything from outfits that women wear to rumored hook-ups of
co-workers from a decade before--and the more outrageous the story, the
longer it seems to be discussed across the desk. Even after I left the
trading floor and worked for a smaller hedge fund, I found out that it
was the men in the group who spread information more than the women.
Looking back on my 14 years in the finance world, I feel that I have
heard and witnessed more gossip spread from men rather than women.
Perhaps it's just because women are better at keeping gossip
low-key--and I know that, working in finance, my perspective is skewed
since the majority of financial service professionals are male. However,
I have not heard gossip stories from other industries that rival mine.
I may be wrong in my assumption that men gossip more than women.
However, until someone convinces me otherwise, I will keep my friends
close and watch out for the men if I misbehave or have a few too many.
