Handling awkward work conversations

Beth Braccio Hering,

Being called in by a superior to discuss a topic both of you would probably prefer not to touch can be difficult, but if an employee can limit defensiveness and truly listen, the conversation may be enlightening. Meet three people who survived such interactions and came out stronger professionals.

Discussion leads to makeover

"The cocktail party was in full swing when my boss, with whom I was immersed in a conversation, started to lean to the right until his head was level with my waist," recalls Wendy Komac, a workplace consultant from Cleveland. "Then he popped the question, 'Is that a bellybutton ring?' I was wearing a black lace top over a black camisole. Apparently, the light caught the gem on the end of the ring, and it caught his attention. It was an awkward moment, and I really hoped he'd never bring the subject up. By this time, I had a senior vice president title, and there was a bit of a bad-girl personal side to me that I didn't share at the office and didn't want to start now."

But the boss did bring it up again -- as the lead-in to a broader discussion about workplace dress. "I was never going to be a navy blue suit kind of a girl, but if I wanted to advance, it was important that I took his comments to heart," Komac admits. She worked with a style coach to develop an authentic look that also reflected the sophistication required in the executive suite. "That was 12 years ago, and it has worked well for me ever since."

Impetus for change

An uncomfortable conversation that Jim Zamichieli of Philadelphia, had with a boss taught him not to compromise his ethics and ultimately led him to leave the company.

"While working as the chief technology officer at a digital creative agency, the CEO (my boss) told me that a consultant I recently brought in didn't fit the company personality . . . The consultant, a 30-something female, was a stocky woman who dressed professionally, but her attire had a slightly gothic flare."

When Zamichieli pressed the CEO to define the company's "personality," he says she became increasingly agitated. Zamichieli was told to give the consultant a two-day notice. Instead, he came up with valid business reasons why the consultant was needed for at least two more weeks, adding, "The truth was that the consultant, who was an exceptionally talented person, was not only needed indefinitely, but should have been hired as a full-time employee." He used the time to get the consultant more deeply involved in a particular project. Others realized her worth, and though the CEO was livid with Zamichieli, she knew that business would be jeopardized by letting the consultant go.

"I never let the consultant know what was going on, but I did advise her that the company was not a place for growth and was suffering from political issues," Zamichieli says. He himself resigned two months later and started his own digital marketing company.

Developing leadership by example

Jennifer Selby Long of Oakland, Calif., had been hired by a large company to foster leadership within the organization, including building alliances and ensuring that people showed appreciation for their peers. But she was the one who discovered she needed some training.

"I made a big, big mistake when we were under tremendous pressure on a project. I dressed down my team of peers and was very hard on them. My facts were right, and they had performed poorly, but that was no excuse for me to do exactly the opposite of what I was supposed to be teaching."

Her boss privately pulled her aside in the hallway after the meeting and calmly and supportively said, "You have tremendous power, and you completely forgot that in there. You just set the team back, and it's now your job to move them forward again. You are such a strong personality that you can kill the energy in the room or build it up almost instantly. Always remember that."

While she says she felt terrible about what she had done, Selby Long felt confident that she could turn it around because of how her boss handled this awkward and difficult conversation. "I just wish everyone could have a boss like [him] at least once in their career. I attribute so much of my later success to his ability to coach me through any difficult conversation or situation."

Source: careerbuilder

Boss giving you problems? Here's some advice

Robert Half International

You've been late meeting a client's deadline for the third month in a row because a colleague hasn't given you the information you need in time. Despite repeatedly stressing the importance of sticking to the timeline, there has been no change in behavior. Your client has been patient, but it's clear he's beginning to get annoyed. It's time to talk to your colleague about the issue. The problem? This colleague also happens to be your boss.

If there's one situation that requires you to muster all of your diplomacy and professionalism, it's giving your manager feedback. Should you speak up? What's the right way to do so? Will your boss even listen to you?

Navigating these waters can be tricky, and making a wrong move may have serious career consequences. Here is some advice.

Consider your boss's personality.
How open your boss is to receiving feedback plays a big part in how you approach the situation. Of course it's tough to come right out and ask your manager if he or she would like some criticism. Instead, look for clues. For example, does your supervisor welcome candid comments during meetings, or are others' ideas and opinions quickly dismissed?

You might also talk to your colleagues to get a temperature check. Ask a few co-workers if the issue you want to raise is worth mentioning and if they've ever critiqued the boss. How did they approach the situation, and what type of reaction did they receive?

Set the stage.
If you decide it's worth speaking up, don't blindside your boss with the news that you disagree with her decision or approach. You don't have to go into great detail, but before you meet, give her an idea of what you want to discuss. For example, you might say, "I've been thinking about the new time-off policy you introduced. Do you have a moment later this afternoon to talk about it?"

Time it right.
Be sensitive to what your supervisor might be dealing with before setting up a time to talk, unless the matter is extremely urgent. If the team is short-staffed and your manager is trying to help everyone manage the extra work, wait until things slow down.

Also think about what time of day is best for the discussion. If your manager needs a cup of coffee to get going in the morning, don't schedule something for 9 a.m.

Carefully frame your feedback.
Often it's not what you say but how you say it. Your aim shouldn't be to point fingers or complain about what you perceive to be your boss's failings. Instead, present the situation in a neutral tone, explain what the impact has been on you or the team and offer possible solutions.

Have a plan in place if the conversation turns sticky. Your supervisor might not see things the same way you do or may bring up issues you hadn't considered, such as your own role in the situation.

If you sense the discussion is rapidly deteriorating, stop. You may need to back off and accept that you've lost the fight. You don't want to press an issue to the point where you damage your relationship with your boss.

Offer a helping hand.
If your manager is missing deadlines or you find it difficult to get approvals or feedback, it could be a sign that your boss has too much on his plate. You might consider asking if there's anything you can do to lighten the load and make things easier for your supervisor. Not only can this simple step help alleviate the frustration you're experiencing, but your manager will likely appreciate your offer of assistance.

Explore other avenues.
The simple truth is not every boss will be open to critique from the team. If you're uncomfortable bringing an issue to your manager's attention, look for other ways to voice your concerns, such as performance reviews or employee surveys. Just stick to the official channels rather than the office rumor mill. You're much more likely to be heard, and you can be sure your reputation won't suffer. 

Source: careerbuilder

Annoying co-workers: Holiday edition

Robert Half International

Frosty the Snowman isn't the only character coming your way this holiday season. In fact, the annual arrival of mistletoe, garland and gingerbread cookies can transform a normally rational and well-mannered employee into another person entirely.

Here are some memorable individuals you might soon encounter, along with tips for making sure you don't cross the line from festive to annoying.

The Not-So-Secret Shopper
This worker helps the overall economy but offers nothing to your company's bottom line. After taking excessively long lunch breaks to bag deals at the mall, the brazen bargain hunter spends the rest of the day shopping online. Responsible for countless hours of lost productivity, the Not-So-Secret Shopper rudely leaves others to pick up the slack.

Tip: Don't let your gift list get in the way of your job duties. Even if your company has a liberal computer usage policy, err on the side of caution and save the shopping for after you get off work.

The Human Holiday Display
This person pays no mind to the company dress code or office décor guidelines in December. Typically wearing reindeer antlers, a snowman sweater and candy cane pin, she transforms her cubicle into a blinding sea of blinking lights and tinsel. The over-the-top spectacle leaves fellow team members squinting their eyes and scratching their heads.

Tip: It's fun to celebrate the holidays, but adhere to organizational and departmental norms when decorating your work space and yourself. Remember: everything in moderation.

The Cookie Monster
Think that slice of pumpkin pie is protected because you put a sticky note on it claiming ownership? Think again. Unless you put a lock on the office refrigerator, no treat is safe when this sugar-craving sneak is roaming the halls. The sweet-toothed bandit also comes empty-handed to potluck meals and then shamelessly devours all the fudge brownies before anyone else gets a bite.

Tip: Nobody likes a thief. Put the cake down slowly, and step away from the fridge. For more on this topic, see what happens when treats go missing from the office fridge at www.roberthalf.com/dont-let-this-happen-to-you.

The Sniffler
Holiday season is also cold and flu season. The germ-ridden "Sniffler" fails to think about the greater good, coming to work when he clearly should be at home resting. With a nose redder then Rudolph's, he coughs and sneezes his way through the day, oblivious to the risk he poses to co-workers and their holiday plans. The Sniffler believes he's displaying dedication, when in reality his frustrated colleagues are grumbling about his lack of consideration and common sense.

Tip: When you're under the weather, do everyone a favor by taking a sick day. If you absolutely must work, ask the boss if you can telecommute.

The Party Animal
Regardless of how casual the setting is, the annual office party is still a work function -- not the best venue for letting loose. This fact eludes the Party Animal. Instead of viewing the get-together as an opportunity to strengthen or forge internal connections, this merrymaker overindulges in eggnog and creates all kinds of awkwardness. Inevitably, the entire company will be whispering about the Party Animal's regrettable antics by the next morning.

Tip: Allow yourself to have some fun at work events, but don't completely let down your guard. You don't need to be the life of the party to make an impression. Drink alcohol moderately, if at all, and don't pressure others who are opting to abstain.

The Grinch
In sharp contrast to the workplace's most cheerful holiday enthusiasts, this frosty grump is well-known for having a bad attitude. He maintains a Scroogelike demeanor to make it clear he's not feeling festive and you shouldn't either. Full of cynicism, smirks and sarcasm, he finds a way to pooh-pooh everything. The Grinch remains unaware that the constant griping, groaning and gossiping are incredibly grating.

Tip: Some people don't get into holidays, and that's all right. What's not OK is trying to spread a "Bah humbug!" attitude to everyone else. Be mindful that strong interpersonal skills such as tact and diplomacy are critical to career advancement.

Not everyone at your company celebrates the same holidays, and not everyone celebrates with the same level of enthusiasm. What's most important is to understand and respect those differences. And if nothing else, stop swiping the sugar cookies. 

Source: careerbuilder