Here's When Crying Can Actually Help You Win a Negotiation

Study: expressing sadness can increase your ability to "claim value"

Business Insider

By Steven Benna

For most people, crying at work sounds mortifying — and may even bring up humiliating memories.

But new research finds that sometimes shedding a few tears can be used to your advantage.

A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology shows that expressing sadness in a face-to-face interaction can sometimes help you during a negotiation.

The study, called "Weep and Get More," found that expressing sadness can increase your ability to claim value in negotiations because it can "make recipients experience greater other-concern."

But it only happens in specific situations and depends on the relationship and status of the negotiators. 

Researchers from INSEAD, the University of Michigan, the University of Paris, and EMLYON examined face-to-face negotiations in a series of three experiments. The first experiment focused on structural features of the situation, and the second and third experiments focused on the relationship-related features.

The study found a few specific situations where the expresser of sadness is at an advantage.

1. If the crier is perceived as being in a lower-power position
Whether you're in tears in front of your supervisor or the company's CEO, your chances of leaving a negotiation happy are increased if you're viewed as a lower power.

"A person who perceives you as having lower power and feels concern for you may help you or make more concessions, leading you to gain relatively more," said Shirli Kopelman, one of the researchers and a professor at the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan.

2. If the recipient expects a future interaction
Crying during a bombed job interview may provide no benefits for you because the interviewer may never see you again.

But if you're negotiating for a raise or extra time off with your current employer, they may be more sympathetic and concede to your request because you will most certainly be in contact again.

3. If the relationship is collaborative
There's a good chance a coworker would show you sympathy simply because they see you on a daily basis. (However, it is also safe to assume they would become very fed up with you if the sobbing became a common occurrence.)

Just like being in a lower-power position, expressing sadness can be beneficial if the other party perceives the relationship as collaborative, Kopelman says.      

15 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Accept a Job in a New City

If your gut tells you "no," don't do it.

Business Insider

By Jacquelyn Smith

We've solicited readers to submit their most pressing career-related questions.

With the help of Lynn Taylor, a national workplace expert and the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job," we've answered the following: "I've been offered a job in another state. How do I decide if relocating is the right decision?"

"It would be great if all the best jobs were in your backyard, but sometimes the position you really want is hundreds, or even thousands, of miles away," says Taylor. "Relocating can seem like a high-stakes proposition with too many unknowns. Even if you're disenchanted with your current position, at least it's the devil you know."

You may also be comfortable with non-work related aspects of your life, like getting around town, familiarity with your neighborhood, proximity to friends and family — and your impending move may affect your partner or loved ones. "This is not a decision to take lightly," says Taylor. "But the axiom, 'no risk no reward' rings true in the practice of job relocation."

She says if you do your homework and can withstand a little adventure, "the results can be life-changing."

So, if you're considering such an option, here are 15 questions to ask yourself before making a decision:

1. Have I done my homework on the new city, the new job, and the new company?

"Research, research, research," says Taylor. "It's one thing to do your homework on your next employer, but when your prospective new job requires you to uproot your life, it's time to do some serious sleuthing. The more you know about the job, company, and the new city, the more educated your decision — and the less stressful the choice will be."

2. Have I created a budget?

Create a budget, including cost of living. "Make sure that you remain financially responsible," she suggests. "Review the cost of living in the proposed city, your salary, and other income, as well as home, car, and other expenses, before agreeing to any offer."

There are several cost of living calculators online, such as those on Salary.com or Payscale.com.

3. Have I weighed the pros and cons?

As with any tough decision, it helps to make a pros and cons list. "Commit to writing all the positives of the relocation and the negatives that relate to each," Taylor says. "For example, Pro: I will get to explore a great big city. Con: I will miss my hometown friends. The bottom line is: What am I gaining and what am I forfeiting?"

4. Do I know everything I need to know about the job?

Ask informed questions — those that show you've done preliminary research. "Be sure that you completely understand the job description; meet your prospective boss and several coworkers at least twice at their offices; tour the new workplace; and get a sense of the work environment and culture."

5. Will I like my new boss?

Of course there's no way to answer this with complete certainty before you start working for them — but think about whether it would be a good fit. "Be sure to spend as much time with your new boss as you need," says Taylor.

"This person will have the most influence on your job satisfaction — more than any other single factor. Is your new manager someone you can learn from? Is your long-term career of genuine interest to your boss? Is there chemistry? Are there signs that raise concerns?"

6. Does the position offer growth?

Try to ascertain whether the position offers sufficient upward mobility, not just from where your career is now, but once you're on board.

"This is your opportunity to inquire about your career path," she says. "You can also ask about how others have taken on greater responsibility over time in the department. Just be sure not to sound overly aggressive and to frame it as a desire to grow and learn."

7. Is the salary desirable, and is it adjusted to the cost of living in this new place?

Make sure that the salary you're offered is competitive and worth the big move.

"A general rule of thumb is that you should earn 10% to 20% more than your current salary when changing jobs in the same city," she explains. "But when you're relocating, you can generally be a little more aggressive, depending on your industry, current salary and background — unless the cost of living is significantly lower in the new city."

Do your research online and find out what the salaries are for your specialty in the new city. Remember to take into consideration other factors, such as benefits, incentives, and advancement opportunities, says Taylor.

8. Am I familiar with the company's track record and understand its growth outlook?

This is not just about your job, or even a department. It's also about the company you're joining. (You wouldn't want to uproot your whole live for a company that has a grim-looking future.)

"Make sure you have clarity on their past growth and future prospects," Taylor suggests. "If they're not public, you may have to do more due diligence and ask more questions, without coming across as intrusive."

Ideally, you want to contribute to a growing team, company, and industry when making this level of commitment, so better to know all you can upfront.

9. Have I used social media to dig deeper?

Through LinkedIn, chat boards, various websites (like Glassdoor), and blogs, you can find out a lot about companies from current and former employees.

"Retention or turnover levels are a good topic to ask about when considering a relocation," says Taylor. "A company with a revolving door reputation would suggest a large, billowing red flag."

10. Does the new metro have a strong employment market?

"You should be relatively assured that you'd be marketable in that city and happy to stay there should things fall apart," she says. "Is your job general enough and in sufficient demand in the new city? What is the employment rate there? Who makes up the employment base? Could you pursue interim or project work between jobs?"

11. Have I discussed and negotiated moving allowances?

"Understand and be able to negotiate allowances, ranging from the move itself, to arrangements for the sale of your home if you don't sell in a certain period (if applicable), what they will pay for, whether there is a contract or severance package and so on," recommends Taylor. "Policies will vary from one company to another, so tread lightly and diplomatically."

12. Do I know anyone in this new city? Am I willing to leave certain people behind?

There is much more to a job relocation than a job.

Consider the personal side of this move, she says. "Are there family members, relatives, or friends in the new city? Some that you hate to leave behind? It's helpful for some to have a friend in the new town who can make them feel welcome and supported," she adds.

Some people make friends easily and find that to be a rewarding new challenge. "Just be true to yourself and have realistic expectations."

13. Have I talked to my family about what they want?

You may well have to take into consideration the opinion of others before getting too amped about the relocation.

"Check in with all those affected — like your partner, kids, parents, siblings, or anyone who you feel might be impacted," says Taylor.

"On the flip side, the new job could take you closer to family members or friends. Having open and honest communications with all those involved will be critical."

14. Have I spent enough time in this new city or town, and is this community the right place for my family and me?

"There's nothing like being there," she explains.

Think about what's most important to you and your family, and find out whether the new location offers these things.

Spend time looking at housing, local schools, traffic patterns at various times of the day, and places where you would pursue activities outside work. Check out the local attractions, parks, beaches, shopping, restaurants, clubs, and cultural or religious organizations.

"Also ask about the climate year-round and talk to as many people as you can," says Taylor. "And if you can, try to attend a professional business or industry meeting during your travels to get a sense of the 'professional climate,' as well."

15. What is my gut telling me?

Most often, your gut instincts are accurate. The problem is that people don't always follow them.

For example, if you're doing a lot of second-guessing, you probably have your answer: You're not comfortable with forging ahead. On the other hand, if you can't stop thinking about the prospects of this potential move and have an unstoppable feeling of elation, you also have your answer: Take a leap of faith. "You could catapult your career," Taylor concludes.      

The Best and Worst States for Making a Living in 2015

Low cost of living and no state income tax put Texas in the top spot

Business Insider

By Skye Gould

Choosing a place to live where you can find good, well-paid work and stretch your paycheck to cover your costs can be difficult.

To help you out, the personal finance site MoneyRates used several data sources, including the US Bureau of Labor Statistics, to determine the best and worst states for making a living in 2015. The ranking is based on five factors: average wages, state tax rates, cost of living, unemployment rates, and incidents of workplace injuries.

Check out the best and worst states below:

Texas topped the "best" list with a below-average cost of living and no state income tax.



Other states, such as Hawaii and Oregon, have much higher costs of living and state taxes.

      

What 17 Successful People Read Before Bed

How Bill Gates, Barack Obama, and others unwind after a long day

Business Insider

By Rachel Sugar

The moments before sleep can provide a rare retreat from a jam-packed day for highly successful people.

For many CEOs, execs, and other high achievers, the day begins extremely early and is crammed with emails, meetings, and events. But the evenings can be a time to unwind with a good book. Or a magazine. Or newspaper. Some of them even curl up with their email.

From paperbacks to tweets, here's what 17 super successful people read before calling it a night.

Alison Griswold contributed to a previous version of this article.

Bill Gates has said he reads for an hour every night, even when he gets home late.

1/17

Back in the 90s, Microsoft's cofounder told the Seattle Times that he considers reading at night to be "part of falling asleep."
He loves good books (here's his 2015 summer reading list) and his reading topics range from public health to the history of shipping containers. Gates considers himself a very fast reader, despite never taking a speed-reading course.

John Carney mulls great thinkers as he falls asleep.

2/17

"I'm somewhat obsessed with ancient philosophy, mostly Plato, Socrates, and Xenophon," the Wall Street Journal writer told The Wire in 2013. He said he does most of this type of reading before going to bed. "Unless it's Sunday night," he added, "in which case I'm watching 'The Walking Dead' or 'Homeland.'"

Arianna Huffington unwinds with only 'real' books before going to sleep.

3/17

Huffington is well known for taking sleep seriously, and she doesn't mess around when it comes to her evening reading routine.
The Huffington Post founder recommends banning electronic devices like iPads, Kindles, and laptops from the bedroom and says she only reads the old-fashioned way, with print books.

Rob Delaney looks for humor on his Twitter feed.

4/17

Comedian and writer Delaney has more than a million followers on Twitter, and told The Wire in 2013 it still blows his mind "that people pay attention to what I say."
His feeds are the last thing that he scrolls through before going to bed, though he admitted that he's mostly looking for entertainment at that point. "I'm more interested in diversion before bed, so hopefully I'm reading fart jokes," he said.

19 Ways to Slowly Destroy Your Career

Nobody likes a pessimist

Business Insider

By Emmie Martin

There are big mistakes that can instantly ruin your reputation at work or even get you fired. But more commonly, it's the gradual accumulation of smaller offenses that keeps employees from getting ahead in their careers.

Bad habits, such as giving curt responses to emails or keeping to yourself all day, could be hurting your reputation — whether you realize it or not.

Here are 19 bad behaviors that will slowly erode your credibility and cost you in the end.

1. You don't adapt to the company culture.
Every workplace operates under its own set of social customs. Not making an effort to assimilate into this culture can make you seem disapproving or judgmental.

This holier-than-thou attitude is alienating to coworkers and makes it seem like you don't care about forming positive relationships in the office.

2. You make excuses.
Not taking responsibility for your mistakes and failures will catch up with you. Waiting until the day a project is due to explain why you're behind, for example, tells your boss that you can't manage your time well.

3. You do the bare minimum.
Even if you always meet deadlines and consistently turn in quality work, doing only the bare minimum makes you seem complacent.

On the other hand, looking for opportunities instead of waiting for them to fall into your lap shows your boss that you're driven and care about your future at the company.

4. You don't follow through.
When you fail to do what you say you're going to do, from restocking the printer to copy editing your neighbor's report, you garner a reputation for being unreliable.

Keeping your word shows that you're accountable and can be trusted with more responsibilities when it comes time to be considered for a promotion.

5. You dress like a slob.
Once you're settled into a position, it can be easy to let your appearance fall by the wayside. However, failing to look put-together undermines your credibility and authority and may make you seem like you don't care.

Remember the age-old saying: Dress for the job you want.

6. You're a pessimist.
If you're habitually sporting a bad attitude, you become a nuisance to your boss and can drag down your team.

Constantly whining and complaining won't make you pleasant to be around, and certainly won't entice your boss to keep you around for long.

7. You ignore coworkers.
Forming friendships with your colleagues is just as important as cultivating relationships with higher-ups.

Strive to be known and well-liked, so that coworkers want to share valuable information with you and help you when you need it.

8. You're defensive.
Your boss doesn't expect you to be perfect, but constantly being defensive makes you look unprofessional.

If you're unwilling to listen to constructive criticism or own up to your mistakes, it tells your boss that you're unlikely to push yourself to improve.

9. You write brusque emails.
No matter how friendly you are in person, terse language can easily be misconstrued in an email. Even if it's unintentional, rude emails immediately sour your reputation around the office and keep others from wanting to interact with you.

10. You procrastinate.
Putting off projects until the last minute not only puts stress on you, it hinders the progress of every other person relying on your portion of the work. If something goes wrong, you'll likely be the first one blamed.

11. You don't make meaningful contributions.
Saying something in a meeting just for the sake of speaking doesn't add anything productive.

Instead, prepare ahead of time, and remember quality over quantity when sharing ideas.

12. You're always late.
Frequent tardiness signifies to coworkers that something else is more important to you and that you don't value their time. It paints you as disrespectful and uncaring, making people wary of trusting you.

No matter what it takes, always find a way to be punctual.

13. You never stop talking.
Yes, it's great to get to know your coworkers, but if you're constantly socializing, it prevents everyone around you from getting their work done.

Keep the chatter to your lunch hour and breaks to avoid annoying others and becoming the person no one wants to work with.

14. You ignore emails.
Failing to answer emails in a reasonable timeframe not only frustrates those who need responses from you, it signifies to colleagues that they aren't worth your time, can cause you to miss deadlines, and generally paints you as unprofessional.

Although answering each one as soon as it's received is impractical, making a conscious effort to stay on top of your inbox goes a long way.

15. You're rude.
Doing good work doesn't matter if no one wants to work with you. Not only does rudeness alienate coworkers, but most managers won't tolerate abrasive and inconsiderate employees.

Remember, being polite is a key to winning people over.

16. You don't focus on long-term goals.
Though it's important to be engaged with your everyday work, it's equally crucial to think about the future of your career.

Don't look at opportunities in terms of instant perks — like a bigger paycheck — but instead consider how they'll affect your career overall.

17. You ignore your network.
Failing to connect with other people in your industry puts you at a major disadvantage, especially if you're early on in your career.

Even if you've been in the industry for a while, it's still important to keep in touch with your network or you run the risk of being left out in the cold when you really need help.

18. You're arrogant.
No matter how experienced you are, acting like a know-it-all will quickly irritate your colleagues. There's always something more to learn, so find a way to be open to new ideas.

19. You avoid feedback.
If your boss asks you to make a change, do it — even if you think your way is better. The reality is that even if your process is superior, not responding to feedback makes you look pompous, stubborn, and difficult to work with.

Unless it's something major that warrants a conversation, be open to constructive criticism.      

10 Pinterest pinners to follow for your career

Check out some of the Pinterest boards we follow here at CareerBuilder.

If you're like me, you can easily get sucked into the magical world of Pinterest, spending hours on end pinning recipes, outfit ideas, home decorating tips and cute pictures of animals. As avid Pinterest pinners like to say, I could easily make a career out of pinning, if only that were a job.


While "full-time pinner" may not be a job (yet), being on Pinterest can help you move your real career forward – or aid in finding a new one.
So many awesome career- and workplace-related pinners and boards exist, so we thought it would be helpful to pull together a list of some of the ones we love to follow here at CareerBuilder.
For general career advice:
CareerBuilder: OK, so we have to start by tooting our own Pinterest horn. Follow us for everything from career tips and insightful infographics to ideas for planning your next vacation from work.
CareerBuilderCareer TipsSee On
Career Contessa: While Career Contessa is geared toward women, their Pinterest page has boards that anyone looking to find work-life balance can relate to.
CAREEREALISM: Their career videos board provides helpful "how-to" videos related to your career.
For recent grads:
Lauren Berger: Berger, known as the "The Intern Queen," has boards covering everything from intern dress codes to recommended reading lists.
NACE: The National Association of Colleges and Employers' Pinterest page is a great resource for stats related to new college grads, including job outlooks and starting salaries.
USA Today College: Another great pinner with career- and lifestyle-focused news and ideas for those new to the workforce.
For workplace fashion ideas:
Levo League: This career site's Pinterest page offers a variety of helpful and inspirational boards, but we especially love their workplace fashion-focused ones, including My Power Outfit and Professional Attire: Style Guide.
Ties: This simply-named board by pinner Graeme McCree provides all sorts of tie inspiration, no matter what office environment you work in.
For career inspiration:
TED Talks: TED Talks are known for being inspirational, and their Pinterest page is no different. Find motivational quotes, educational videos and career resources.
The Muse // inspiration: This board from career site The Muse does as promised – provides career inspiration in the form of quotes and motivational articles.