By Kaitlin Madden,
Liars at work can cause all kinds of headaches. Whether it's
guy who comes into the office every Monday with the farfetched stories
about his crazy weekend ("I met this model, right ..."), the slimy
vendor who misleads you into thinking you're getting a deal on office
supplies or the lazy co-worker who constantly seems to be covering up
one error or another, liars cause stress, tension and frustration for
those around them.
Sometimes -- like with your model-magnet
co-worker -- the lies might be annoying, but relatively harmless (it's
probably more of a headache to dispute him on the facts than to just let
him talk himself up). But other times, like if you think you're being
ripped off, or feel a co-worker is trying to cover up a mistake that
will directly affect your own work, it's important to know whether or
not you're getting an honest answer.
To help you get an accurate read from your BS detector, we talked to Bill Rosenthal, chief executive of Communispond, a communications coaching firm, about spotting a liar at work. Here's what he had to say.
The Work Buzz: How can tell if someone is lying to you? What verbal/nonverbal cues should you look for?
Bill Rosenthal:
Spotting a liar at work requires the same kind of observation that
spotting a liar anywhere else does. Look for signs of discomfort,
because most people feel guilty about lying. [These signs] can include
avoiding eye contact, making excessive eye contact (which liars might do
to "prove" they're being honest), being in a hurry to end the
conversation, even pointing their feet in the direction of a getaway.
Look also to see if the person is being evasive when answering a
question, perhaps by feigning inability to remember something that
should easily be remembered. Still another sign is the use of suspect
data or excessive data when answering a simple question. Of course, a
promise that sounds too good to be true probably isn't true.
TWB: What should you do if you think someone is telling a lie?
BR:
It's best to keep asking questions that are hard to answer. The liar
might back off by reorienting what's being said. Unless you're sure,
don't accuse someone of telling a lie. It's possible the person was
misinformed about something and is repeating it with good intentions.
TWB: When is it best to just ignore a lie?
BR:
Sometimes [the lie] doesn't matter. Telling someone "I caught a huge
sailfish" or "I'm a gourmet cook" may not matter at all if it's just
small talk that isn't intended to further a cause.
TWB: How can you promote a culture of honesty in the workplace, either as a manager or as an employee?
BR:
It isn't enough to have a mission statement saying the organization
values integrity; the organization has to live it. Managers can foster
honesty by being open with information. If they have bad news to
disclose, they should do it quickly and without sugar-coating the
situation. They shouldn't hold back on pointing out an employee's
weaknesses during review time to avoid hurting feelings; it's a
disservice to the employee.
Employees should be honest about
errors they made. It's better to admit having a problem than ignoring it
because the problem can keep growing. Admitting there's a problem can
get the employee the help needed. Don't take sole credit for the work of
a committee. Give credit where it's due. Don't make promises that are
hard to keep.