Robert Half International
There's nothing easy about difficult workplace conversations
and, unfortunately, these awkward talks aren't uncommon. At some point,
you may need to ask a colleague to redo his work on an important
project, for instance, or let your boss know you can't meet the deadline
she set.
Following are some tips to help you successfully navigate these challenging conversations:
Evaluate the circumstances
Before
you say anything, weigh the pros and cons of speaking up. How well do
you know the person? How important is it that you say something? What
have you done that might have contributed to the situation? What type of
response can you expect from the other person?
Make sure you
understand the facts before approaching someone about a problem so you
can go into the conversation with a well-thought-out game plan. For
example, if you have bad news to report, you should also have a solution
in mind. If you have a complaint to share, consider if you deserve any
of the blame.
You'll also need to keep your audience in mind. If
you're broaching a difficult subject with your manager or an executive,
you'll have to walk a finer line than with peers.
Think before you speak
Take
a step back if you're angry or frustrated. Things you say in the heat
of the moment can do more harm than good. Give yourself some time to
come up with the right response.
Consider time and place
Unless
an issue is extremely urgent, avoid initiating a difficult talk when
the recipient is likely to be distracted or focused on something else.
You might wait until your boss has caught up on email in the morning,
for instance.
Another tip: Never confront someone in a group
setting. That's a good way to embarrass the person and put him or her on
the defensive. Wait until you can have a private conversation.
Be polite
Your
tone and body language can reveal any underlying anger or frustration.
You don't want your comments to sound more accusatory than conciliatory,
for instance. If a colleague plays music that you find distracting, a
remark like "Do you have to listen to this noise so loudly?"
probably won't help you convince the person to turn it down. Instead,
try: "I'm under a tight deadline and having trouble concentrating. Would
you mind using headphones, at least until I'm done with this project?"
Also,
strive to take the high road even when a co-worker doesn't. Sarcastic
comments or unnecessary criticism in response to verbal jabs from your
counterpart will just cause the conversation to deteriorate. If you
sense your frustration level rising, suggest that the two of you
continue the discussion at a later time.
Reach an agreement
Try
not to end a conversation without coming to some sort of resolution,
and understand that solving the issue may involve a compromise. The
colleague who annoys you by playing music may agree to use headphones in
the morning if she can use speakers in the afternoon, when things have
slowed down.
In most cases, how well you navigate a difficult
conversation depends on your positioning. You might find people are more
receptive to your idea if you present it as a way to become more
efficient or get more accomplished, for example. Avoiding words like
never or always also can help because these terms can put others on the
defensive.
Finally, always listen to and respect the other
person's perspective. You are, after all, having a conversation. Keeping
this in mind as you broach a challenging topic will help you set the
stage for a successful exchange.